Prince Charles Quotes

[At Hart's home, Eggsy looks at the various front pages of The Sun on the wall]
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: 'To Pee or Not to Pee?'
Harry Hart: That was the headline the day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: 'Germany: 1, England: 5'
Harry Hart: Missed that game. I was breaking up an

undercover spy ring at the Pentagon.
[Eggsy looks at the other headlines, then points at the Prince Charles and Princess Diana wedding issue]
Harry Hart: My first mission. Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Not everybody had thanked you for that one.
Harry Hart: The point is, Eggsy,

nobody thanked me for any of them. Front page news and all these occasions are celebrity nonsense. Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret. A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times: When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies. And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: That's me fucked,

then. It's like Charlie said: I'm just a pleb.
Harry Hart: Nonsense. Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth. Being a gentleman is something one learns.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Yeah, but how?
Harry Hart: Alright, first lesson. You should have asked me before you took your seat. Second lesson: How

to make a proper Martini.
Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Yes, Harry.

Dr. Evil: Gentlemen, I have a plan. It's called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!
Number Two: Prince Charles *did* have an affair. He

admitted it, and they are now divorced.
Dr. Evil: Right, people you have to tell me these things, okay? I've been frozen for thirty years, okay? Throw me a frickin' bone here! I'm the boss! Need the info.
[pause]
Dr. Evil: Okay no problem. Here's my second plan. Back in the 60's, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a

sophisticated heat beam which we called a "laser." Using these "lasers," we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the "Ozone Layer." Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.
Number Two: [pause] That also already has happened.
[in

original pressings, Number Two said "That also has already been done."]
Dr. Evil: Shit. Oh hell, let's just do what we always do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good! Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic called Kreplachistan will be transferring a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here's

the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Number Two: Don't you think we should ask for *more* than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year!
Dr. Evil: Really? That's a lot of money.
[pause]
Dr.

Evil: Okay then, we hold the world ransom for...
Dr. Evil: One... Hundred... BILLION DOLLARS!

Toad: [to Le Frog] Perhaps you forget that it was a rat who cast me from paradise.
Le Frog: [Rolling his eyes] Oh please not the scrapbook again.
Toad: [pulls a book off a shelf] My memoirs , volume one details the dire and tragic story of my youth.
Le Frog: Oh mon dieu.
Toad: Of all

the pets in Buckingham palace , young prince charles fancied me the best , we would frolic day after sunny day in royal abandon sharing that sweet and magical bond between boy and toad.
Le Frog: Your going to make me throw up.
Toad: We were inseparable until... it arrived THAT RAT , while the poor boys head was turned , I was cruelly plunged into a

whirlpool of despair.
Le Frog: I know I know you were flushed away down the loo right? boo hoo hoo, it is so dark, so cold, so terrible
[chuckles]
Le Frog: .
Toad: You find my pain funny?
Le Frog: I find everyones pain funny but my own, I'm French.
Toad: [stands up and

knocks over a table] Just get that cable.